profile

Hi, I'm Dr. Beth Onufrak!

How to shift from summer bedtimes

Published almost 2 years ago • 2 min read

CHOICE POINTS

Summer Bedtimes: How to avoid Back-to School Headaches

Hi Reader,

Hello again,

It's the last month ... or some places, the last week of summer. The beach, the pool, the vacation, or just the time in the yard. Some young kids are still up at 10 or 11.

It's true, summer brings some of life's best memories. It's so tempting to let them stay up late and enjoy the freedom. And enjoy yours, too!

I've seen 29 sleepy back-to-school seasons since becoming a psychologist.

So here are some thoughts about summer bedtimes. They're from your point of view and, as always, that of the young child.

Pleasure now, pain later

Later and lax bedtime surely bring you a lot of benefits. More relaxed evenings, fewer battles. Plus the thought "Let 'em be kids!" Right? And our course, they wanna stay up.

But late bedtimes can creep up to back-to-school time. Then you have to change.

When bedtime is cut back suddenly, you get (at least) three kinds of blow-back:

  • evening protests
  • morning crankiness
  • poorer listening

Sudden "180" shifts in schedule from flexible to structured brings strain in every area of parenting.

You enjoy late bedtimes now, but pay later.

Sudden shift = harder transitions.

From their perspective, abrupt changes in sleep routines is hard on kids' body clocks. It's just like jetlag. I see it every year.

Even if "its only preschool / kindergarten / 1st grade ...". School is your child's job, and it's hard to start a new job with jetlag.

No matter their grade, kids expend enormous physical, mental and emotional energy at school. New room, new teacher, new expectations and work for 6 hours.

It is hard to learn and adapt and be a "friendly friend" when your body clock is off.

Sharp body-clock changes are tough on young bodies & brains.

Here are a few ideas to roll back the clock.

Please don't get the idea that I think this is easy! I know it's not.

Bedtimes can be the hardest time of the day! And many families struggle with sleep on a nightly basis. That's a topic for another time.

But for now, a few ideas to avoid the sudden shift:

  • Start shifting about 2 weeks ahead. What if you're on vacation? Get them to bed an hour earlier than you really want to. That hour will save a lot of havoc.
  • Aim for 5-10 minutes earlier per night. In a week, bedtime could (in theory, LOL!) be a half-hour earlier.
  • Serve sleep-inducing snacks before bed: almonds or walnuts, turkey slices, kiwi, cow or soy milk (without the sugary cookies).
  • Start to shift the time without focusing on school. For school-averse kids, it's just too stressful.
  • Add something new to the bedtime routine: a new book or nightlight, pillow.
Small shifts now can avoid big headaches later.

It's a hard thing ... but one of the kindest things you can do for your child's brain. And your back-to-school sanity.


Losing your cool and it's not even back to school? Try out my free course, How to Stay Calm When Your Child Is Melting Down. If you're interested, click here or share this with a stressed out friend.


See you next week!

And remember ... Looking through your child's eyes changes everything.

Cheers!

Dr. Beth

Headshot of Dr. Beth

Let's connect! You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube.

Got this from a friend? Get the newsletter yourself!

Hi, I'm Dr. Beth Onufrak!

I'm a child psychologist and parent educator. My ChildSightTools® courses help parents see through kids eyes. Sign up for my weekly Newsletter!

Read more from Hi, I'm Dr. Beth Onufrak!

PARENTING PEACE Shed the Stress of Holiday Prep Hello again! Feel like you're sinking in holiday stress? This wonderful time of year can feel quite un-wonderful. Time pressure, planning, gift-getting. If you're feeling more dread than delight, you are not alone. My ChildSightTools® advice is always from the child's point of view. But this post is from yours. Why? Because your stress seeps into them ... doubling your load. Here are some ways to reduce the Stress of the Season with mantras....

over 1 year ago • 2 min read

GOOD DIRECTIONS 3 Ways to Help Separation Anxiety Hi there! Your little one (or one who's "getting too big for this") is clinging to you for dear life. Soaked with tears, your shirt is stuck to your neck. Fist-pulled and wrinkled, your shirt tells the tale of their desperation. Saying "You'll be fine, it'll be okay" only supercharges the tears. Have you been here? Panic and refusal may appear the same in different kids with separation anxiety. But the reasons may be worlds apart. Separation...

over 1 year ago • 2 min read

CHOICE POINTS So, now they hate you? Really?! Hello, again! "Did you get that newsletter?" I ask. Today's issue is among those I reach for the most. The "I Hate You" moment is common and so painful. Sharing this newsletter is the quickest way to help parents in my care. Here it is again, if you weren't with me back in April. No doubt, this is a nasty moment. Your lovey says “I hate you.” If you've already lost it, so be it! You're human. We cannot always choose our first response. But we can...

over 1 year ago • 1 min read
Share this post